What happens when you're rude to people.
Production Number: 9
Aired: 3/09/2010
Characters Speed Racist
Written by Kris Wilson
Chase Suddarth
Rob DenBleyker
Length 2:37
Previous Episode Waiting for the Bus 2
Next Episode Barbershop Quartet Performs Surgery

Speed Racist is the ninth animated short for Cyanide and Happiness.


The episode starts with an intro identical to that of Speed Racer but with Speed Racist instead.

Then we see an white house where a black man comes out to retrieve his paper. Suddenly, Speed Racist goes by him saying "Go back to Africa."

Speed Racist immediately crashes in a fireball saying to call an ambulance. Speed Racist spends the rest of the episode making various remarks in agony and even crushed his bones trying to activate the ejection seat. During which he remarks that his skin is seared black and notes the irony himself.

During this time, the black man flips through his mail occasionally glancing over with no sympathy and eventually just goes back inside his house.

Chimp Chimp appears off screen as well and won't leave when he was told to and ends up dying in the fire.

Soon before his death, Speed Racist verbally regrets his racism and soon dies when his car explodes.


  • Chimp Chimp burns to death in the fire.
  • Speed Racist is blown up in explosion.


  • Speed Racist crashes off screen.
  • Speed Racist's sternum is broken in the impact.
  • Speed Racist catches on fire.
  • Speed Racist's skin is seared black.
  • Speed Racist's eyeballs are burned out of his skull.
  • Speed Racist's bones are crushed by the ejection seat.


  • Despite the agonizing injuries Speed Racist described himself having, including: being lit on fire, his skin being seared black, his eyeballs melting out of his skull, his bones being crushed by the ejection seat, and his sternum (the bone in the center of the chest) breaking on the impact; Speed Racist's voice never really changed to indicate his pain.